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| this isn't fun anymore.
so i'm on hiatus for now.
might start up later.
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| I still find each day too short for
all the thoughts I want to think,
all the walks I want to take,
all the books I want to read,
and all the friends I want to see.
i'd really love a call from you.
you don't really want me here stop. stop procrasting and fucking push me over. i'll break you down because i'm jealous, you'll break me down because you have to.
I
share with complete strangers my most personal of pleausures. I
scribble tidbits of useless mind info - trash treasure. Spend hours, at
my leisure, like sharpened precise tweezers. Blame me and go ahead with your life as
you always did. Force my stomach to purge the words I might have eaten
in a feast of victorious self-indulgence. "The art of argument is that if you argue correctly, you're never wrong." - Thank You For Smoking "No matter who it is, what they do, who they believe themselves to be, they all still judge, stereotype, lie, and are more or less cruel. Everyone is, it's how we function." we are made to bleed
and scab
and heal
and bleed again
and turn every scar into a joke.
we are made to fight
and fuck
and talk
and fight again
and sit around and laugh
until we choke i still wear my heart on my sleeve.
but i think i drink more than ever now. and i guess it doesn't matter what i say or what i seem, you stuck what i felt for you in the pocket of your jeans.
ignoring me the morning after isn't enough, and i swear i'm going to cry i'm sick of trying to be tough.
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| valentines day: a stupid holiday devoted to fucking.
you must wonder why i look at you that way.
tonight i'll make my way into your house.
i must; i'm lusting for your body. skin looks tight, think i just might have to take a bite, but i know one will turn to three or four or more my little whore.
i like my coffee black;;
just like my metal.
it seems like just yesterday. when we would stay up late out on your front lawn talking about where we've been and all the places we're going. we would lose track of time watching cars pass us by and i would sneak back home before the sunrise.
you're not special.
and just a tad overrated.
i can't wait until you suffer,
or when you end up jaded.
just keep coughing, smoke another cigarette. dream another big dream, just live and regret. so fuck the warning signs, i'm already dead inside.
Teenage girl; teenage queen. Til she's on video - a porno queen. She likes to give head. She likes it mean.
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| & when his tongue is down my throat, all thats going through my head
are thoughts of you. its kind of funny but its kind of sad how your name
is the only name i ever listen for. & when his fingers are entwined with mine,
our conversation from the night before keeps me occupied. you know i only kiss him
to make you jealous. but its tragic really because you never will be. & when i lie with him on my bed,
i`ll exchange my empty words with his meaningful ones. i should feel guilty, but i don`t feel anything
for anyone, but you.
I hope you don't mind me saying I think you're so lovely. I hope you don't mind me staying, because I might never leave.
You're such a violent scheme, you
say I looked beautiful on my knees. I say I looked better on my back,
only in the backseat of your car. Looking out through the skylight at
the blanket of stars, that night was a whirlwind that juts flew by.
You're the only one in the world who knew I sinned, a sin that made me
cry. Do you ever think that we'd be different, if our paths had never
crossed? What if we could go back and do it all again, do you think
we'd do it different? I wouldn't, I wouldn't change a thing. What if
you never broke my heart, or I never let you back in? But I'd always
let you back for more, I always would because you said I looked
beautiful on my knees. You said I looked beautiful.
I
guess I heard about original sin.
I heard the dude blamed the chick.
I
heard the chick blamed the snake.
I heard they were naked when they got
busted.
I heard things ain't been the same since.
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| i know it's crazy, but you still can touch my heart. and after all this time, you think that i wouldn't feel the same but time hasn't done nothing, nothing has changed i still believe someday you and me will find ourselves in love again
they tell me that it's not that bad.
it fucks you up good, but it's not that bad.
If you're going to love me, love me deeply.
If you're going to break my heart, break it all.
If you're going to care, care for me completely.
If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall.
If you're going to stay, then stay forever.
And if you want to leave, then do it today.
If you're going to change, change for the better.
And if you're going to talk, please mean what you say.
if i'm gonna go down, i'm gonna do it with style.
you won't hear me surrender, you won't hear me confess.
'cause you've left me with nothing, but i've worked for less.
it's just how she lives. loving all the wrong people, and wishing all the wrong things.
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